Monday, March 7, 2011

Discretion—or cowardice?

On the recommendation of a friend and fellow community member, I have deleted from this blog and from my Facebook page any specific reference to a church organization to which I belong, and which is in fact an important part of who I am. I have done this because of concern over raising a furor in that community over some of my commitments and views—above all, of course, my membership in the Communist Party USA.

I do this with considerable reluctance and regret. Is this an act of discretion—or merely of timidity and, indeed, cowardice? I am saddened that I cannot be open about important parts of who I am with all of the communities I am part of.

Of course, it is not only at this point that I have this problem. My self-identification as a Jew would be hotly contested by many Jews, on the grounds that my baptism constituted a repudiation of my Jewish identity. And no doubt there are many in the Catholic Church, including perhaps some bishops, who would insist fiercely (perhaps even to the point of excommunicating me) that my Party membership amounted to a repudiation of my Catholic and Christian faith. I plan to address these issues in this blog in the future. For the time being, I have to say that I must draw the line somewhere; I must say, "here I stand" and let the chips fall where they may.

This is of particular importance to me as a Communist, because too long our Party has labored under suspicion of being some sort of secret conspiracy. We only play into this notion by not being open—although of course there are situations where discretion is legitimately called for. Given the number of people in our country who, according to recent polls, are ready to identify with socialism, our Party should be, and needs to be, many times larger than it is. Part of the reason for our small size is, I am convinced, our reticence and caution about publicly identifying as a members—and, if necessary, taking the consequences. If we are ever to make membership in our Party seem normal and natural to the large numbers of people who in fact think as we do, we need to treat our membership as normal and natural ourselves, even if, for a time, it leads to some difficulties.

Of course, it is also true that the largely (though, I would argue, not entirely) appalling record of Communist parties in power, coupled with our own refusal (and I include myself in this) to face this reality, continues and will continue to be a problem. This too I intend to address in future posts.

So, where does one draw the line between discretion and cowardice? In this instance, I will let myself off the hook. My decision is prompted not so much by any motive of personal gain (save that of remaining in the organization I am referring to) as by a desire to spare this community from the turmoil that would surely result from being more open. Still, it rankles.

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